Don’t Slapp the Mule
Muleboy is Muleboy because his only friend and companion is the
Mule. Thus, Muleboy carefully protects the Mule. The number one threat to the health and well being of the Mule is of course America’s Loser Children (ALCs). Millions of these undisciplined things actually attempt to slap the Mule. Well, no way. Muleboy has his son known as Mule Bob to protect the Mule during the day when natural light is available. However, at night Muleboy employs the Pinkertons to protect what his considers to be a sacred animal. Of course one again the Mule is only sacred because it is a role model of good behavior compared to the ALCs aka The Burdens.
What does the slap crisis tell us about the future of America? The clear conclusion is that America has no future. Cruelty to the Mule could be considered a moral crisis, but more importantly the Mule has been known to actually bite the Losers directly in the ass. Good for the Mule. Mule bites cause massive infections. Do mommy and daddy have the money to pay for treatment needed as a result of these bites? I doubt it.
Muleboy though continues his journey to Seattle’s Chinatown. Why would he let a giant group of Loser children change his course. Perhaps the Mule ultimately will have to be shipped to the China in Asia for its own protection. This is not very likely. Many of the children with infected Mule bites are vocalizing their pain to others and this may be enough to put a permanent end to yet another totally meaningless "problem" in America.